7 Common Mistakes Managers Make in 1:1 Meetings (And How to Avoid Them)

1:1 meetings are a powerful tool for fostering trust, alignment, and growth within teams. Yet, even well-intentioned managers can fall into common pitfalls that undermine their effectiveness. Here’s a look at the most frequent mistakes managers make in 1:1s—and practical strategies to avoid them.

1. Being Unprepared

The Mistake: Coming to the meeting without a clear agenda or understanding of current priorities. This leads to disorganized conversations that waste time and leave employees feeling undervalued.

How to Avoid It:

Prepare an Agenda: Collaboratively create a meeting agenda in advance, allowing both parties to add topics.
Review Goals: Before the meeting, revisit key goals, progress, and previous discussion points.
Use Shared Tools: Tools like Google Docs or Notion can streamline agenda planning and note-taking.

2. Turning It Into a Status Update

The Mistake: Using 1:1s as a session to discuss task updates instead of focusing on personal growth, challenges, or long term goals.

How to Avoid It:

Separate Status Updates: Use team meetings or project management tools like Asana for status updates.
Focus on Development: Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s been your biggest challenge this quarter?” or “What skills would you like to improve?”

3. Skipping or Postponing Meetings

The Mistake: Canceling or rescheduling 1:1s frequently sends the message that these conversations aren’t a priority.

How to Avoid It:

Schedule in Advance: Plan 1:1s for the entire year to minimize scheduling conflicts.
Respect the Time: Treat 1:1s as sacred—only reschedule if absolutely necessary.
Emphasize Importance: Show commitment by preparing and actively participating in each meeting.

4. Focusing Only on Problems

The Mistake: Spending the entire conversation addressing mistakes or challenges, which can demotivate employees.

How to Avoid It:

Start With Wins: Begin each meeting by acknowledging recent achievements or efforts.
Balance Feedback: Pair constructive criticism with recognition of strengths and successes.

5. Avoiding Difficult Conversations

The Mistake: Skipping over tough topics, such as performance issues or interpersonal conflicts, out of fear of discomfort.

How to Avoid It:

Use Empathy: Approach sensitive topics with understanding and focus on solutions.
Be Clear: Frame feedback constructively, e.g., “I’ve noticed [specific behavior]. Let’s discuss how we can address it together.”
Create Psychological Safety: Build trust so employees feel comfortable addressing challenges without fear of judgment.

6. Not Actively Listening

The Mistake: Multitasking or dominating the conversation, which makes employees feel unheard.

How to Avoid It:

Eliminate Distractions: Put away your phone, close your laptop, and give the employee your undivided attention.
Ask Clarifying Questions: Encourage deeper dialogue by asking, “Can you elaborate on that?”
Summarize and Reflect: Repeat key points to show you’re engaged and understand their concerns.

7. Neglecting Long-Term Development

The Mistake: Focusing only on immediate tasks or goals, neglecting discussions about career aspirations and personal growth.

How to Avoid It:

Discuss Career Goals: Regularly ask questions like, “What skills would you like to develop this year?”
Provide Opportunities: Offer resources or stretch assignments to help employees grow.
Track Progress: Use tools like shared documents to revisit and update long-term goals regularly.

How to Make 1:1s More Effective

Consistency Is Key: Regular, timely 1:1s build trust and provide opportunities for reflection and alignment. Aim for bi-weekly or monthly sessions based on team needs.
Leverage Technology: Use platforms like Microsoft Teams or Zoom for remote 1:1s, and task management tools to track action items.
Encourage Employee Input: Invite team members to contribute topics to the agenda, ensuring the conversation addresses their needs and priorities.
Follow Up: Send a quick summary after each meeting with key takeaways, action items, and next steps to maintain momentum.

Final Thoughts: Elevate Your 1:1s

Avoiding these common mistakes can transform your 1:1s into meaningful, productive conversations that drive engagement and growth. By preparing thoughtfully, listening actively, and addressing both short-term challenges and long-term aspirations, you can create a culture of trust and collaboration.

Lumo Insight: Want to refine your 1:1 skills? Lumolead’s interactive workshops offer actionable strategies to enhance your leadership impact.